Thursday, 15 September 2016

NOSTALGIC ABSENCE

Alarm buzzes, its 4:51, I snoozed the alarm for next 10 minutes and repeated till 5:25. It hit to me that I had to do everything in next 30 minutes or else I’ll be late. Thought of ignoring few calls from friends, but zilch, I hit reality, “no calls”. However, I managed to leave by 6:20, still was running late.

The event was not going to start until 7-7:30 PM, it took me around 2 hours to reach there. I located my friend, made them aware that I am there, met friends from other office’s. However, I was predominately looking for her. You all might be thinking that I just said no friend but don’t I have freedom of having crush on someone. Well to tell you about her, she is the prettiest girl walking this earth, but if asked her, you will hear something like,” whatever”. Small 2 cm*2 cm forehead, 4 cm eyes bulging out, long Eiffel tower like nose and long hair with puff above forehead and little curl at the end tempting you to pull and straighten it. Her smile is as radiant as an angel.

Finally, I spot her on-stage performing with other people, I think they were singing or dancing or making fun of themselves.

After an hour, thought of doing the dumbest thing every guy could do, “no don’t think much just go up and greet her”, said the voice. Then again the voice repeated “go ahead, go greet her, don’t wait up as she isn’t looking out for you or come over to greet you. I trust these voices and decided that I had to be the one to initiate it, then again as I looked up on stage, I can’t believe my eyes, “she wasn’t there”. Maybe the same voice spoke to her saying, “run away, crazy guy is coming over to greet you” and coincidentally she too decided to trust the voice. I was determined what else could I do, to be dumber I thought of looking out for her and in the process I inquired her mom for her whereabouts’. She too had no clue as in where she could be. 

I started a search for her secretly. My cousin found her unconscious, when I saw her unconscious I couldn’t stop myself but I started mourning as it was the end, heart was beating faster than usual, tears were flowing, looking at her not breathing, time froze for me. we all were worried, what could possibly had happened. Her eyes were all misty.

We tried to breathe in her using artificially breathing technique. I was pressurising her heart with 30 pumps a minute and asked her mom to breathe in her through mouth, after 2 attempt we succeeded in getting her back from death.

Rushed her to hospital, we were all there at hospital with her. I had to leave as all her cousins and relatives and friends came in to see her.

Next day I visited her, suddenly at my every step towards her I could hear my heart pounding beating and trying to rip out and be free and my legs they became heavy. Felt like turning back and returning home as all these things were new to me, being an jerk to sudden benevolent felt way to over for me. I didn’t want to see her like this, the joyous girl I knew is hospitalised, made myself strong and I went in, at the first look itself I wailed and don’t know why she was crying. What made her cry but than that was the first time I saw her tears and many question arose. Why? What this meant? Was I too emotional or was she highly sedated and she wasn’t aware what she was doing. I wiped my tears and hers. Inquired, “what happened, how she went from happy go lucky to unconscious?”. She said that people were raging her friend and she couldn’t do anything, rather she cried, asking god, “why couldn’t she help her friend from bad people who were harassing. I was very furious and wanted to know who were this people, but the question was how she became unconscious. She said, “I was wailing the nose problem kicked in and wasn’t able to breathe properly and landed unconscious.

Next few days I was sad sensing her absence as was used to her and she was the source to my happiness.  I heard music “tilllillliiillliinnggggg” “tilllillliiillliinnggggg” “tilllillliiillliinnggggg” “tilllillliiillliinnggggg” that was my alarm again for real and this was all a dream which was not less than a reality, pushed snooze button and wished if I could dream again but something more beautiful like her...

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